AI and Infancy: Should I Use AI With My Infant?
Should you use AI with your infant?
No.
This might be the easiest essay I’ve ever written.
The primary tasks of infancy are not academic. They are not digital. They are not symbolic. Infants learn through their senses and their bodies. They learn by moving, touching, mouthing, banging, dropping, pulling things off shelves, and—yes—making big messes.
They are learning about people.
They are learning who responds to them.
They are learning when they can trust others to care for them.
They are learning to imitate sounds and facial expressions. They are becoming attached to those who love them. They are discovering that attention from other humans matters—and that their signals will be noticed.
Before I go any further, let’s go back to the original question.
Should you use AI with your infant?
Maybe you shouldn’t—but I guarantee that many parents already are.
How AI Is Already Showing Up in Infancy
AI is not waiting until kindergarten.
Parents are using AI-enabled baby monitors that track sleep, predict awakenings, and analyze breathing. Some systems analyze crying patterns to estimate hunger, discomfort, or fatigue. Apps help parents decide when to feed, soothe, or put a baby down for a nap.
And then there’s data.
The hundreds—no, thousands—no, maybe hundreds of thousands if I can judge from the pictures I receive of my infant grandsons on a daily basis–of photos many parents take of their infants are digitized, stored, and often analyzed by AI systems. These images may shape a child’s emerging digital footprint long before that child has any agency or awareness.
AI also plays a role in infants’ media exposure. The videos, music, and “baby content” parents choose are often selected or prioritized by AI-based recommendation systems. Platforms like YouTube Kids or Netflix Kids are not designed around infant developmental needs like repetition, pacing, or sensory regulation. They are designed around engagement and retention—for adults and children alike.
Parents are often most aware of direct AI use: AI-enabled toys and devices. Talking toys. Adaptive stuffed animals. Storytelling devices that “learn” preferences over time. Voice assistants used to sing songs or make animal sounds.
These toys are not always labeled as AI—but their ability to adapt, respond, and learn from interactions is precisely what makes them AI.
So the question is not whether AI is present in infancy.
The question is how it fits—or doesn’t—developmentally.
A Developmental Lens: What Infants Actually Need
In the past 25 years, psychologists have learned a great deal about child development in the digital age. But unexpectedly, the best tools we have for understanding whether to use AI with infants come from classic theories of cognitive and social-emotional development. In particular, Piaget’s stages of cognitive development (introduced in the 1920’s) and Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development (introduced in the 1950’s) speak to the needs of infants with clarity about the foundations needed to become healthy kids and adults. I will use their easily understood theories to examine whether we should use AI with infants.
For our purposes, let’s define infancy loosely as ages 0–2, recognizing that development varies.
Cognitive Development (Piaget)
From a cognitive perspective, this is the sensorimotor stage. Infants learn through direct sensory experience and motor action. They do not yet understand symbols. They cannot distinguish representation from reality.
They need to:
- Move their bodies
- Touch and manipulate real objects
- Experience cause and effect
- Learn object permanence (hello, peekaboo)
When an infant hears a voice or sees a responsive face, they experience it as real. They do not understand simulation. They do not understand “as if.” They learn best from toys and materials that engage their senses, such as rattles, blocks, or textured toys, to stimulate discovery.
This is why AI interaction is so problematic at this stage.
AI tools that simulate social reciprocity—talking toys, responsive characters, conversational agents—risk confusing the infant’s developing understanding of people. They replace “hands-on” objects and rich, reciprocal, human interaction with something that looks similar but lacks a concrete connection.
Psychosocial Development (Erikson)
From a psychosocial perspective, infancy is defined by trust versus mistrust.
Infants are asking a very simple question:
When I signal distress, does someone respond?
They learn trust through consistent, warm, predictable caregiving. They calm when a caregiver’s voice is soothing. They smile when a familiar face appears. They feel secure when emotions are co-regulated by another human’s nervous system.
Some AI uses can support this process indirectly. For example:
- Sound machines that adapt volume or rhythm
- Monitoring tools that help caregivers respond more quickly
- Accessibility supports for families with medical or sensory challenges
But AI should never take on the role of the caregiver.
Erikson’s stage of trust versus mistrust suggests that AI use during infancy should be judged by whether it strengthens or weakens a child’s reliance on responsive human caregivers. Infants seek warmth and care from others. Tools that support caregivers in being more attuned may be helpful, but AI systems that appear to comfort, engage, or respond in place of a caregiver may do the opposite. While we are still learning about this phenomenon, AI companions, conversational agents, or socially responsive toys may interfere with infants’ learning of emotional regulation, attachment, and human connection.
What Developmental Psychology Tells Us About AI Use with Infants
Across developmental theories—Piaget, Erikson, attachment theory—the message is consistent:
Infants need to experience their world directly.
Infants need the concrete, sensory experiences of their world so they can navigate it, understand it, and respond to it. These hands-on opportunities are the nutrition of infancy. Anything that takes away from them, not only digital media, lessens their ability to master and adapt to their environment.
Infants need humans.
Attachment research reminds us that emotional regulation develops through secure, attuned, responsive caregiving. When infants lack these experiences, the effects can echo across childhood and adulthood.
There are legitimate concerns that substituting AI or robotic systems for human interaction may undermine these foundational processes.
This doesn’t mean parents must avoid all technology. It means AI use during infancy should be extremely limited, indirect, and adult-facing.
Developmentally Appropriate AI Use in Infancy
- Parent coaching tools
- Monitoring and safety supports
- Assistive technologies
- Tools that support caregivers rather than replace interaction
- AI that helps educate new parents in best practices
AI Use to Avoid
- AI toys simulating social reciprocity
- Conversational or responsive agents
- AI framed as a “friend,” “companion,” or interactive partner
- Any AI that replaces face-to-face caregiving
- AI that is designed for soothing, substituting for human care
- AI that can be overly stimulating
Real Life Strategies For AI Use With Infants
If you live in the year 2026 or beyond and have an infant, you’ll be using AI with your child. Don’t fret. Infants have been exposed to technology for hundreds of years. Infants raised in the golden age of radio during the 1930’s somehow figured out that there wasn’t a real person speaking to them. Or that cartoon characters aren’t going to be their actual playmates.
The concern with AI is that its ability to learn to adapt to the child and be responsive is a game-changer. And if that is confusing to adults, imagine what it is like for infants, which psychologists are still trying to make sense of.
Parents may not realize how often AI is shaping their infant’s environment. Becoming conscious of these influences allows families to make intentional choices—especially during a stage when children cannot distinguish between human and non-human agents.
The practical guidance for infancy is straightforward. AI should not be used with infants, but it may be used around them to support caregivers. Parents and professionals should be cautious about AI tools that simulate social interaction and focus instead on preserving the human experiences—touch, voice, eye contact, and responsiveness—that infants need to build trust, attachment, and understanding of their world.
